People don't learn from advices, they learn after every fall.

Author: Amanda Tung :p

Got to admit that i got too caught up with things lately that i've almost forgotten who i really am.

The answer that i've been searching all along? It doesn't matter anymore. Cause now, i'm going to do what i think is right and that will make me a happier person. Dogtan said something that made a huge impact to me, she said "Stop being what he likes. Just be yourself like how you used to be." All along, I've been trying so hard to be somebody whom i think he will prefer and i realized you'd actually prefer the old me. The one that teases you and acts like a retard in front of you without any concerns. In the midst of holding back my nonsense, there's so many things that i feel, i want to say but dare not say.

You told me we're a part of each other.

And after so long, i thought of a part 2 to this sentence, -

"nobody belongs to anybody even if it's someone that's entwine into your life."

It's the fear that i've deep in my heart that keeps me from completing the sentence. The scariest part of all is losing you, in fact, i'm afraid of losing a part of me. To the extend that i can't imagine how life will be like without you. That's so childish, i know. You guys must be thinking "Oh come on! How can that be!". But if you know who this person is, you'll know how big a reliance he is to me.

My common sense says, i can still eatsleepshit without depending on him so this means, i've not that hopeless afterall. You might be miserable without that somebody in your life, that's just the first stage, you'll eventually get through "hell". So don't stop moving cause if you do, you'll stay in "hell" for as long as you can imagine.

After this fall, i'll be a better person.

Yes, you will.

Now get going with your first stage.